Thanks a bunch.

A weird insight into Baylor Culture: In most classrooms at Baylor University after a student finishes taking an exam, he or she quietly gathers their things, walks up to the professor, extends the test towards the professor and before the the transaction is complete, quitely whispers 'thank you' to the professor. Why do we do this? I know that we are in the southern region of the united states and that we go to a Bapist school, so clearly many of us are polite people. But 'thank you' after turning in a test? Thank you for what? Thanks for the fact that I have only gotten 6 hours of sleep in the last 3 days? Thank you for the upset stomach? Thank you that I had to spend my Saturday studying? I guess we could be thanking the professor for the learning experience....highly doubtful.
Did this happpen at your school?

A Theological Attempt

I have learned alot of really great things in Seminary this past year that have really resonated with me. I would sit in class or read and something would hit me deep down...almost a sense of awe...or my soul sighing in agreement. Things that I knew would change me somehow...I found one of those things in an unexpected place...the early church father, Irenaeus. I wrote a paper on him last semester regarding his view of salvation. Now the paper was actually painfully difficult for me to write. I struggle to write about what theologians have said...I feel like I don't under stand enough to really have a say in the discussion...I love theology but it really intimidates me, so who knows why I am attempting a post about theology.
Anyways..that was a small insight into my soul... Irenaeus was the one who coined the theory of recapitulation. This theory says that Christ lived the life that humankind was intended to live. He resisted tempation to sin, He loved greatly. It is by this recapitualtion that we are saved. God made humans to immortal. As immortal creatures we were designed to live a certain life...like the life that Christ lived. We were to live with God forever. However, sin thwarted that plan, it did not ruin it, because nothing can ruin the plans of God, but it was set off track. Christ lived the life that God intended for us and in His death atoned for the sin that we should have paid for ourselves.
Many Christians tend to focus soley on the work of Christ on the Cross. But Irenaeus belived that Christ's entire life had salvific power. The atonement of Christ was in the incarnation, it was in the miracles, it was in the parables, it was in His betrayal, and it was in the garden. Our salvation is tangled up in each move that Christ made and each breath that He took. Salvation would not have been possible without the entire life of Christ. The incarnation was needed so that both God and man would hang on the cross. The 33 years between the cradle and cross were needed so that Christ could retrace our steps before we even took them.
I don't know what it is about this idea that grabs a hold of me. I think that in the past I have tended to look at Christ's life in a very compartmentalized sort of way. I examined the incarnation. I examined His minstry. Then I examined the work on the cross. But all of these are so deeply intertwined, in a way that gives such depth and richness to the theological study of soteriology or Christology. There is just something about knowing that Christ's entire life was a movement towards our salvation....not just one moment on the cross but each moment. Knowing this enlivens my reading of the gospels. As Christ kisses the hand of the leper we are saved. As he is in the womb of Mary we are saved. As He raises Lazarus from the grave...we are saved.

Beautifully profane.

"When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed" -Derek Webb

Since my wilderness theology class I have really been thinking alot about the Monastic Concept of Via Negativa. For many of the early theologians and church fathers, this referred to describing God by saying what God is not; God is not hate, so God is love, God is not unjust, so God is Just etc. But many monastics use this phrase to describe how one can find God. We find God at the end of ourselves. We find life in death, we find joy in pain, God speaks when God seems silent....we can even find beauty in despair.
I find this to be a wonderfully hopeful way of thinking. It seems that hope is always present. Even in the deep dark pit of anguish and grief. When we think that we have lost faith...maybe that is when we truly find it.
That is why many of the early monastics retreated to the desert. They found God in the hunger of fasting, in the sleepless nights, in the extreme heat and cold. They found God in the silence. I could do well to learn from them. I often find myself frustrated in my search for truth and grasping at the straws of faith. But when I reach the end of myself and of my striving...truth is often hiding quietly under a rock.

We Reunited

So I was at a family reunion ALL week last week. All the relatives came from the North East Coast and then we have one family in Utah, for a week full of hot as hell texas fun. We did in fact play on the lake all week which was delightful. And clearly we went to the rodeo and ate barbecue. I do wish that all of these relatives lived closer. Here are some pics. I have a milllion but I decided to spare the blog world and only share a few.

I love this picture...Cousins Rachel (little one) and Anna...they are beautiful.
Me with Favorite Cousin Kristin at Joe T's
Alanna trying to share the photo album
Sydney and Anna on a delightful boat ride.
Dani and Alice at Joe T. Garcia's

Songs For life: I Repent.

I love Derek Webb's Music...I know that he is a bit Calvinistic at times...but he speaks alot of truth. I love this song in particular. It changes me everytime I listen to it.

i repent, i repent of my pursuit of america's dream

i repent, i repent of living like i deserve anything of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife in our suburb where we're safe and white

i am wrong and of these things i repent
i repent, i repent of parading my liberty i repent.

i repent of paying for what i get for free and for the way i believe that i am living right by trading sins for others that are easier to hide

i am wrong and of these things i repent
i repent judging by a law that even i can't keep

of wearing righteousness like a disguise to see through the planks in my own eyes
i repent, i repent of trading truth for false unity i repent,

i repent of confusing peace and idolatry

by caring more of what they think than what i know of what we need

by domesticating you until you look just like me

i am wrong and of these things i repent

I feel as if I should listen to this song every single day. It puts my life in perspective. I so often assume that I know the better way. I say that we should spend more money feeding the hungry, yet I spend mine on frivilous things. I say that the problem with the american system is the lack of education, yet I don't help with the educating. I use my liberty as an excuse to live a life of mediocrity. I proclaim that we should live a life of self giving, yet I keep all of my time and waste it.

When will I get it? When will I be able to show a speck of the deep love of Christ to my fellow humanbeings? When will I spend more time with the people in my own town and less time with my educated self righteousness? When will I stop looking at all of the things wrong with America and the church and begin examining my selfish motives?

I repent.