My favorites

I miss these girls today.

Tell Me a Story.

I love hearing people's stories. I like knowing where they grew up, what they liked to do as a teenager and the name of everyone in their immediate family. Sitting and listening to any part of a person's story, good or bad, is a spiritual experience for me. I walk away knowing that in some way I have experienced God, even when I can't put my finger on it. I like hearing the things that a person picks out as highlights in her life, the people whom she has encountered and has been impacted by in some way. I like hearing how a person reached this stage in her life, why she is in waco, why she chose to go to Baylor/Truett.
I think that I like hearing stories for few reasons:
I like to put people into a larger context than the one that I personally experience them in. Many of us only experience fragments of our lives together. Clearly a person has an entire life outside of the relationship that we share. I think knowing this context adds a great depth to my understanding of a person. People have temperaments, faults, doubts, fears, joys, life events, and meaningful relationships outside of our particular context. All of these things compell a person or drive a person or hold a person back. They free a person or paralyze them. Life context is so interesting and intricate.
Secondly, I have found much of the time that when someone narrarates how they experience life, many times they are narrating how they experience God. They talk about how they have been changed, what causes them to make the decisions that they make. What makes them angry or joyful or sad.
Finally I think that knowing a person's story teaches me how to be a better friend to them. In a few ministry settings I have had people who are basically perfect strangers tell me about intimate details of their life. We may only be in relationship for a few months, but hopefully I glean something from their tale and somehow find what my role should be in their life at that moment.
I find it interesting in many of my close relationships, a person's story comes out over time. Each time a new part comes out, I see a new piece of that person, even the ones that I have known for years. It teaches me something new, thus helping me to love my friend in a new and specific way.
I think that is why ministry is so compelling to me. One aspect of ministry is to hear people's stories...even if it is just a small piece and then respond to them in very specific way. I get to listen in on someone's life and then enter into it. That is an honor and exciting.

And Old Friend

So Last night I went to Barnes and Noble to look up some activies for my kids to do today. It is goal week at our summer program. I decided to look at the Children's books for fun. I stumbled upon (and by stumbled upon I mean that I sought out) the Beverly Cleary section. Beverly Cleary and Ramona Quimby were the beginning of my love for books. I think that I read every book that Beverly Cleary ever wrote between the ages of 7 and 12 at least 2 times each.
Anyways, I picked up Ramona Quimby, Age 8 and started reading it. I was enjoying it so much that I bought it and took it home with me. I read the whole thing last night. It was so delightful! I found myself laughing all over again at Ramona's mishaps and even tearing up during the tender moments that Ramona shared with her family.
I guess you never grow out of an old friend.

A fairly long post about the CBF

A few things:
First of all I have recently discovered the delighfulness that is Diet Lipton Green tea. It is a very wonderful experience. You should try it.
Secondly I am very excited that summer school class will be over by next week. I have about had it with pretending to study every night. Everything within me revolts against sitting down for a significant amount of time reading something required by a professor. I don't care how interesting it is...I just don't want to do it..and let's be honest I haven't been. I generally read a little over half of my reading each night. Then take really good notes in class. I am hoping that this will not turn out to be a horrid mistake.
Third and most importantly...I just got back from the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship General Assembly (that is a mouthful) in Atlanta, Georgia. It was a pretty wonderful/whirlwind experience. Brooke, Heather and I left Waco at approximately 2:40 in the afternoon on Thursday afternoon...to drive 13 hours to Atlanta GA. The ride wasn't too bad, until about 4:00 AM and we still werent' there knowing that each minute that passed was one less minute of sleep that we would be getting.
On Friday morning we had the opportunity to hear Daniel Vestal speak about the distictives of the Fellowship. He spoke about how the fellowship is a community of continual renewal. It was wrought out of a search for the freedom of each believer; men, women, laity and clergy alike all have equal opportunity to approach the throne of God. Churches are free to choose their leaders and are not bound by the state. However just because we are not bound by the state does not mean that we do not engage with the state on issues pertaining to the oppressed, the poor and the marginalized. He spoke about how mission is not only carrying the gospel of Christ to another place but also providing for the physical needs of people and partnering with other churches and denominations to do so. We are open to dialogue with with other faiths, other denominations, other organizations in order to make the world a better place. I sat in the back of the crowded convention hall with goosebumps on my skin the entire time. I don't know...it may sound corny but at that moment I was (and I am) so proud to be a part of this organization. I feel like the CBF has truly begun recovering the historical roots of being Baptist: Soul Competency, Seperation of Church and State, alongside with recovering what it means to truly be the body of Christ for the World: advocating for the poor, working together with others who are also attempting to do good in the world, and allowing all Christians to truly answer the call that God has for them in their lives.
The rest of the day was spent browsing the amazing resource fair, during which I obtained 3 seperate books for the low low price of $8.40. I attended two workshops: One on how to promote social advocacy within your local church body. Which was led by Baylor and Calvary's very own John Singletery and a very power suity/ world changer/ future advocate on the hill Meredith Story. It really was a great session. It was a reminder that one of our jobs as Christ Followers is to stand up for the the forgotten of this world. Just because we fuction seperately from the state does not mean that we cannot engage. I then went to a workshop about the rural poverty initative that the CBF has recently begun. They are working in the 20 poorest counties in the Nation. They are doing some really great things that I hope to be involved in in the future.
I got to have dinner with fabulous friends and my wonderful Pastor Julie, which of course is always life Changing. The day ended with the entire assembly gathered for worship and a commissioning service. I had the wonderful opportunity to see Lizzie particpate. We sang together about Christ's work in the world and then shared the Lord's supper. It was beautiful to worship with people who I know stand together with common ideals and goals. Someone said that it was like youth camp for adults.
Oh my gosh I almost forgot a very important part...I got to meet Molly Marshall. She is a Baptist All-Star they should make her a trading card along with Julie, Dan Vestal and a few others. Anyways she is quite the trailblazer for Women and was not scared to stand up for what she believed in during the Southern Shakedown. It was a fun moment.
I am sure that many more thoughts will come out of this...but let this suffice for now.
If you made it all the way through this lengthy post you are rewarded with a few pictures .

I got to see Lizzie be commissioned by the CBF
A group pic.
Own personal self, Leah, and Ashley.

I love this quote.

"Our Strategy should be not only to confront an empire but to
lay seige to it. To deprive it of oxygen. To Shame it.
To Mock it with our art, our music, our literature, our stubborness, our joy,
Our brillance, our sheer relentlessness--
and our ablilty to tell our stories".
- Arundhati Roy

delightfulness times 5.

Things that I am excited about in life:
1. My new job. Seriously I love it! Maybe it is just the honeymoon phase right now, but I have never had a job where I am actually excited to go every day and feel great when I leave.
2. Going to the General assembly on Thursday! I have never been to Georgia, Lizzie is being commissioned, I get to rub elbows with the Moderate Baptist All-Stars and Leah is coming!
3. I am pretty excited about my Family Reunion in July. I love this side of the family that we NEVER ever get to see. Hopefully the Northeasterners won't melt.
4. I have been reading Walking on Water by Madeline L'Engle per Ashley's request and it is changing my life.
5. I'm loving the summer friends. Mainly I spend time with most of them being ridiculous: laying out by the pool, watching movies, eating out, thinking of ways to change the world into the night, watching TV, and just hanging out....they are all delightful...and by summer friends I mean life friends who I hang out with in the summer.

A different texture.

A few nights ago I was hanging out at Ashley's and we were hanging some things up in her apartment. I decided to that we needed some music. So I went to examine her expansive CD collection. I was having a difficult time choosing a CD...Ash had so many that I loved. I yelled to her to come and help me but she was quite engrossed with the hanging project. So I joked to her that if she didn't come and help that I would just have to pick an old school Point of Grace CD. She said that anything would be fine so...I popped in The Whole Truth, Including such favorites as "The Great Divide" and "Gather at the River". I thought that it would be kind of funny, we would listen to a few then pick something else. But before I knew it we were singing right along, walking down youth group lane. We were not scared....we may have known a majority of the words...I'm just saying. I even noticed that despite the mildly cheesy music, that the lyrics said some pretty good things. Now I'm not saying that the next time you hop in the neon that I will be blasting Keep the Candle Burning but I became sad that I had thrown away many of my Point of Grace CD's. I thought that I was had grown out of them. They were too cheesy and cookie cutter, and I was educated and knew better. They were too tied to youth group days and I was trying to run deperately from my former legalistic self.
I have been thinking alot about that. Why do I feel that i have to run from my past, in regards to youth group days and such? The things that I participated in made me who I am today. Those cheesy Christian songs are a part of my spiritual landscape. Yes some of them are a bit too "Jesus is my boyfriend" or too individualistic, but many of them have affirming and redemptive messages. Yes, there are a few things about youth camps that I am unsure of, such as the extreme emotionality in worship services. But I had many formative moments on my spiritual journey at those youth camps. I continue to learn and grow all the time or at least attempt to. But that does not mean that the new is always better than the old, it is just different. It has a different texture, it adds another piece to my spiritual geography. The new is actually wrought from the old.
It is funny how those of us in higher education (I do at least) tend to think that knowledge makes us better in some way...more qualified...more open minded...It reminds me of a song by Nicole Nordeman that says:

God for the shameless pride
The times when I rolled my eyes
Laughed at Simplicity
Show Me Mercy
Knowing what I know now
I can't imagine how
I could feel anything but unworthy

Despite the facade of knowledge that I so often arrogantly adorn myself with I find each day that the more that I learn, the less that I actually know.

I (re)love kids!

I worked in a daycare for almost three years of my life. For the most part I really enjoyed it. The kids were hysterical and said the most suprising things. I loved the hugs and the constant playfulness. I also worked with the kids at my home church for most of the time that I attended which was almost seven years. I also loved doing that. But somewhere along the way I got my fill of kids. I don't know what set it off. I didn't really have a bad experience, I just got tired of working with them. No rhyme or reason. I just noticed that all of the sudden it wasn't fun anymore, it felt like more of chore.
Cut to this week:
I think that i have hung out with kids more this week than I have in almost four years...I have been working with Calvary's Backyard bible club. I have LOVED IT! We have been out in the Texas heat, singing songs, telling stories, making simple crafts, and playing ALOT of red rover. I am reminded that kids are just phenomenal little people...they are quick to laugh, they hug you after knowing you for 2 minutes, they are perceptive, and they are up for just about anything. Kids are not afraid to look you in the eye and say, "My parents are getting a divorce and sometimes I cry about it....when is water day?" There is a great line from a Kendall Payne song (who changes my life everytime I listen to her) that says, "Little ones teach the big to be free. Children are only un-costumed humanity"
I don't know I have just loved this week. Playing with the kids this week has been has been so refreshing. I have had the chance to give out lots of hugs, tell them how beautiful their crafts are, laugh...its been good for my soul.

taking the life out of living.

So I am not really sure how to make my blog pretty yet. I can't figure out how to change the blasted background...so if anyone has any ideas, let me know.
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I cannot figure out how to not live life at a breakneck speed. I always feel as if I am in a rush...that there are 20 things that I should be doing, people to see, books to read, emails to be written, homework to be done.. etc. Even when I am sitting still, I feel like my body is going 100 miles per hour. Even when I am relaxing, it is in a time frame and feels rushed. I got a taste of what it feels like to live life a normal and healthy pace at the monastery. I felt my soul slow down. My leg stopped bouncing nervously. I went to sleep with a clear mind. I sat down with my journal and wrote long entries, I read the bible slowly, I took walks and deep breaths. I enjoyed the sunset, I sat by the river, I took time to pray. Now I know that this happened in the haven of the monastery, but how do I let this spill over into my day to day life? Should I procrastionate less? Should I wake up earlier? Should I say no to activities? How do I determine what is important? All I know is that life isn't meant to be lived like this. I think that it just sucks the living out of life. Maybe I will wake up an hour earlier tommorow, so that I can simply sit with a book or my journal and see what happens.

Trying it out

So it seems that everyone has a blog...I actually have a blog with my best friends but no one can see it but us, so I can't really share it with the world....which I am not sure how I feel about that anyways...I mean who wants to read my blog? Possibly friends...maybe one stranger. We shall see.
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I want to start out my blog with an ode to summer. I LOVE SUMMER!!!! Summer makes me feel like I am 12 again, running around barefoot in my neighborhood. It seems normal to jump in a car and drive 13 hours with good friends, only to come back 2 days later. It's okay to lay by the pool and drink daquaris at 11:oo am, or have a snow cone for dinner. I stay up and read whatever I want late into the night, and hang out with friends every day. This is reason 20,454 that I am loving grad school: I am 23 years old and still get to act like a 12 year old in the summer. I feel like summer give me full liscence to be irresponsible...to an extent. I mean for some reason I have a desire to get something peirced simply because that seems like a summer thing to do. Maybe I will. I could handle double piercings in my ears...once again I am 12. Who gets their lobes pierced at 23?